Anyway, thanks again for taking the time respond to me. I will try to answer them as best I can. I love to write. I love to write about the things that mean the most to me. I love my life and my husband. I write what I feel and think and in the most honesty and open way I can. I don't want anyone to be mislead or to give the wrong impression, but I just write how I feel. Thank you for being able to see the passion I have for this lifestyle and my marriage and my husband. A lot of people miss that and I end up either re-explaining things or getting frustrated.
The blog helps me to keep in perspective everything and let me put into words the emotions and feelings and thoughts floating in my head. Thanks for visiting my blog again. I really want it to be just informative but inviting as well. I figure if people want to look at porn they can do that on sites specifically designed for it. I want my blog to be viewed as more than a spanking blog, because it is so much more to this, than getting your hide tanned. For me, it is mental, this lifestyle makes me go deep into psyche and realize that I am more than a spanked wife. Yes, I would very much like for you to announce I am back. But, you may wish them to know we are D/s, (not BDSM--although we do practice some things) and that we utilize many/most elements of DD to add to and reinforce our lifestyle. I don't think I will be including any BDSM specific items to the blog, I don't want people to get the impression that DD or D/s must include BDSM because as you know it doesn't. D/s is how we relate to one another, while DD is what we use to keep things in order, and BDSM is how we sometimes relate sexually, does any of that make sense.
22 years WOW, that is truly amazing. We didn't even know there was such a thing. Honestly, the only person I have ever felt the desire to even remotely in the far reaches of my mind is my husband. I actually typically refer to him as my Dom, but some tend to think that rules how we "work" but we still a have marriage same as others, but we just "operate" within it differently. My man, has a quite presence about him. He just sits and watches things and people and then makes a choice rather or not they are someone he wants to get involved with. I must say, he has this uncanny knack to "size" people up and 9 out of 10 he is dead on the money. He will tell me if someone is full of themselves and is not someone he wishes to get to know better. He is extremely private about everything, that includes what goes on at work, at church, especially in our home. He will tell people what they need to know and if they press him for more, he will promptly tell them that is none of their business and to let the issue drop. If they persist, he will excuse himself and leave. I have seen this happen a few times, and thought, the other person was warned, they should have let it go. So, yeah, he is very authoritative. I have seen him angry at other men and it was not pretty. He managed to exercise great control not to become physical with the guy, but man did he give that guy the tongue lashing, it made me feel sorry for the other person, and glad it was not me. One other thing, I have always been aware of him when he walks into a room. But, now, I can't ignore that presence anymore, one because I must always acknowledge him, and two since beginning this I don't seem to have the "power" to do it anymore. This is getting to be longer than I expected. Sorry.
I will say this, When we first married, and for the first three years of our marriage, we were great. We had no idea about D/s or DD or BDSM. However, I never bucked at him and he never did spank or punish me. There was no need really. He would direct or command and I would follow and obey, that is just the way it was. Then we moved to his home town and I felt I had something to prove to his family and that is when things got out of place. I stepped into my alpha-female role. I am really not that submissive to others, I don't feel a need to be, and he doesn't expect me to. I am quite comfortable being the alpha-female but suppressed that when I was around him, until we moved to his home town. He waited patiently, for me to get tired of "leading" our family, (it took six years). He would from time to time, put his foot down, and I would "fly right" for a while. I would slip back into my alpha-female, and he would let it go for a while, he would express his maleness and then I would be me again for a while. A terrible long tiring tearfilled confusing six year cycle, that neither one of us was "happy" with, but didn't know how to break. He just let me have my run and get exhausted, I did just that.
I came to him one day, with the concept of DD. I researched. Actually, I liked spanking stories. I felt so comfortable pretending to be the "girl" in trouble. I thought one day, do people really live this way, because fiction tends to imitate life. I came across the LDD site and it the lights finally came on. I was not sick, or weird, or odd, or nasty, or a number of other things I called myself. I presented the idea to him showed some sites and some research and he took several days to mull it over and now a year later here we are. The dress. Yes, it solidified things mentally and emotionally for me. I don't know, things are so different now, but in the best of all possible ways. Oh, we are still finding our way in this, but our we so much more like it was when we first married, we are both happy and content again.
April is our wedding anniversary. It is the month I stopped fighting him and yielded to him in all things and it is the month he collared me. We had discussed a collaring when we began this journey. I am the one who brought it up, since I am the one who did the research, he said let him think about it. Well he thought about it for six months or so, and only gave me the answer I longed to here after the dress situation. I think it was a test of how much I would yield, you see he wants all and not just part, and my style and comfort zone was a part he knew would be hard. But, that one I passed and then he said order the collar and I did. Yes, it increased my feelings of completely belonging to him and being subjected to his authority. The collaring was just the two of us, no formal ceremony.
as_babe
