Gripes, moans, complaints

I don't understand why some women do what I call bitch, gripe, moan, and complain about their husband, boyfriend, significant other. He is who he is. If he is calm, relaxed, and naturally laid back, that is him, and you must accept him for he is. If he is a neat freak, then understand that everything has its place and he fully expects things to be properly put away, and nothing you do can change that. He is who is.

Now, can he change yes. The question then becomes do we give them time to change. Do we make demands of him that goes against the his natural tendencies? In other words, you have discovered you have a need and you want him to meet that need. That is not an unusual request. After all you are in a relationship (hopefully a longterm one) with him. You do what you can to meet his needs whatever those needs are. You do the best you can to ensure he is happy and satisfied. So yes, it is expected that he meet your needs as well. Relationships are mutually agreed upon right? Well, I suppose they are "contracted", he will do this that and the other if you do this. You will do this that and the other if he do this. But, you are not making a simple request of your man. You are not asking him to take you shopping. You are not asking him for a bigger house.

No, you are asking him to take control your life to some degree. You are asking him to regulate the actions of a fully functioning adult. You are asking him to set rules, guidelines, and limits for you, an adult more than capable of making adult decisions. An adult who should be able to set her own limits and operate within them. An adult who should be able to live within her own guidelines and rules. But not only do you want him to do this, you want him to set consequences for you for when you fail. Not only that, you want him to follow through with these consequences. In other words, you are yielding your right as an adult to live how you want to live in the manner you want to live or are you? No, you have chosen to give up your rights and this how you chose to live, but can you get him to live with you here?

Understand, this is foreign to him. This is something you have felt and needed and longed for. This is something you feel will make you a better you. This is something you need and you need him to meet this need. You have had months and perhaps years to come to terms with your need for someone else to take control and for that same someone to administer discipline when (not if but when) needed. Giving him time to come to terms what you are asking him is essential. You have suggested to your man that you want him to take control of you life. You want him to be control of not just the home but you as well. What? You are an adult and you just told this man you are willing to give up rights in order to follow him, something he was not prepared to hear and something that is foreign to him. Time he needs time to comprehend, understand, grasp, and to process what you want/need/desire. He needs time to figure out how to live this way with you.

So why is it so hard for some women to give their man time? I don't know. But what I do know is that it does upset me to read how these women speak about their mate. Typically, he is not consistant or he is not strong enough or I can easily manipulate him or I wish he was able to do this. I find these women centered on their need for control and displine and not trying to find a way or method to work toward some type of compromise that this lifestyle can work for them and their mate. It is such a beneficial lifestyle for both parties but it is difficult for one to fully grasp it when the other is constantly telling him that he is not doing this right.

What right? There is no right or wrong, it is what each individual couple determines will work for them. Simply because others are doing this lifestyle in a certain way, doesn't mean that is the only way. Yes, there maybe certain protocols but that too doesn't mean you have do things a certain way. Comparng your lifestyle to anothers way of practicing this lifestyle is going to do nothing but create contention in the relationship where there is already disagreement based on the needs of one partner. I am not saying to not have your needs met, but ease into this thing. Don't pounce on the man when he forgets or lets something slide or simply can't wrap his mind around spanking or control. Living this lifestyle is not any easier or harder than a "vanilla" relationship. There must be open and free communication without the name calling or blaming or pointing out failures or pointing fingers.

Damn, give the man a break.

I must apologize. I didn't intend this post to be a gripe but I had to write this here. This is the only place I can do this. I am a member of a board and the a handful of the women their do this. I can't respond to this on that board, as most of the women on that board don't get how we live and are not willing to accept our total power exchange and all that that means. I would never even consider speaking of my Dominant in the way they do. I find it extremely rude and disrespectful, but I would be flamed if I said of the things in this post on that board. I just had to get this out of my system. Thanks for reading.



Tori submissive to Big Daddy