I do work outside the home and always have. We actually make the same salary, but he has final say on how our income is used. He has a seperate account that is his and his only as do I. Then we have a joint account that all the bills are paid of out and a joint savings that we both have access to, but again how that money is spent is his final choice. We do discuss things, in fact I discuss them to death, but always will yield to his desicion. I don't always agree with him, and I am not required to agree with him, but I am required to submit. I don't always do it with grace but I do submit.
He doesn't require me to submit gracefully, but he does require absolute submission at all times. He doesn't require that I be in a submissive mind, but again I must physically submit even if my mind and heart are not there. He knows that the physical act of submitting and time will get me to what we call my "headspace." No, I am not a doormat. I am my own person, I have my own thoughts, and desires, and needs, and wants, and wishes, and he fulfills them to the best of his abilities. I can speak my mind and more often than not, do speak my mind, but I try to do it with respect. He didn't marry a quiet little church mouse, and has on more than one occassion told me he doesn't want one. He likes and enjoys my mouth, as long as it is not mouthy, rude, disrespectful, or full of gossip. He likes to bounce ideas off of me, it gives him a different perspective on things.
I'll write more later. I could go on and on about US, but this post would never end.